You Need to Wallow

Lorelai: Listen, I've had my heart broken before. It's really hard. It's hard for everyone. So, can I give you a little advice?
Rory: OK.

Lorelai: I think what you really need to do today is wallow.
Rory: Wallow?

Lorelai: Oh yeah. Get back in your pajamas, got to bed, eat nothing but gallons of ice cream and tons of pizza. Don't take a shower or shave your legs or put on any kind of makeup at all. And just sit in the dark and watch a really sad movie and have a good long cry and just wallow. You need to wallow.

Rory: No.

Lorelai: Rory, your first love is intense and your first breakup even more intense. Shoving it away and ignoring it while you make lists is not going to help.

Rory: I don't want to wallow.

Rory needed to wallow. Anyone going through a difficult breakup needs to wallow.

Breakups are always hard. You feel rejected, angry, hurt and alone. They can be very painful experiences, no matter how long or short you dated the person. Just look at the way Rory feels and how concerned Lorelai is in the above dialogue.

In this episode from season one, Rory deals with the aftermath of a breakup when her boyfriend Dean ended their relationship on the night of their three-month anniversary. Immediately afterward, Rory snapped into recovery mode getting rid of Dean's stuff and making to-do lists to stay busy and take her mind off the situation.

Having a plan following a breakup is a good idea, but you need to take the right steps to get over separation from a loved one. Rory didn't take the right steps at first, but we can learn from her mistakes.

According to Myrrh Hector from eHow, there are six steps you need to take in dealing with a breakup:

1. Don't take on a huge workload. Only do what's necessary because breakups are a difficult time. You'll need time to mourn.
2. Don't stop eating, sleeping or fulfilling day-to-day tasks. Take it easy, but don't stop living.
3. Remember that you are still a good human being, even without your boyfriend or girlfriend. No one can change who you are.
4. Avoid your ex as much as possible. Trust me on this one, you don't want to see him or her.
5. Have a friend, relative or someone you can trust around to talk to. You'll need support.
6. And remember that it's OK to be sad. It's OK to cry. Be patient with yourself as you recover.

I think these are necessary steps we need to follow in the event of a breakup. However, like Lorelai, I would add wallowing to the list.

I know in blogs like this it's important for writers to draw on personal experiences to further their point. And sadly this is an area where I do have some personal experience.

Curling up under a blanket with a good movie, the best junk food and a good friend next to you on the couch can always be helpful. It's helped me in the past, it helps Lorelai when she experiences a breakup with Luke in season five and when Rory finally realizes she needed to wallow, it helps her, too.

Getting over a breakup is hard, but if you take the right steps, you'll be back on your feet in no time.

So remember, you need to wallow.

Lauren