You Need to Wallow

Lorelai: Listen, I've had my heart broken before. It's really hard. It's hard for everyone. So, can I give you a little advice?
Rory: OK.

Lorelai: I think what you really need to do today is wallow.
Rory: Wallow?

Lorelai: Oh yeah. Get back in your pajamas, got to bed, eat nothing but gallons of ice cream and tons of pizza. Don't take a shower or shave your legs or put on any kind of makeup at all. And just sit in the dark and watch a really sad movie and have a good long cry and just wallow. You need to wallow.

Rory: No.

Lorelai: Rory, your first love is intense and your first breakup even more intense. Shoving it away and ignoring it while you make lists is not going to help.

Rory: I don't want to wallow.

Rory needed to wallow. Anyone going through a difficult breakup needs to wallow.

Breakups are always hard. You feel rejected, angry, hurt and alone. They can be very painful experiences, no matter how long or short you dated the person. Just look at the way Rory feels and how concerned Lorelai is in the above dialogue.

In this episode from season one, Rory deals with the aftermath of a breakup when her boyfriend Dean ended their relationship on the night of their three-month anniversary. Immediately afterward, Rory snapped into recovery mode getting rid of Dean's stuff and making to-do lists to stay busy and take her mind off the situation.

Having a plan following a breakup is a good idea, but you need to take the right steps to get over separation from a loved one. Rory didn't take the right steps at first, but we can learn from her mistakes.

According to Myrrh Hector from eHow, there are six steps you need to take in dealing with a breakup:

1. Don't take on a huge workload. Only do what's necessary because breakups are a difficult time. You'll need time to mourn.
2. Don't stop eating, sleeping or fulfilling day-to-day tasks. Take it easy, but don't stop living.
3. Remember that you are still a good human being, even without your boyfriend or girlfriend. No one can change who you are.
4. Avoid your ex as much as possible. Trust me on this one, you don't want to see him or her.
5. Have a friend, relative or someone you can trust around to talk to. You'll need support.
6. And remember that it's OK to be sad. It's OK to cry. Be patient with yourself as you recover.

I think these are necessary steps we need to follow in the event of a breakup. However, like Lorelai, I would add wallowing to the list.

I know in blogs like this it's important for writers to draw on personal experiences to further their point. And sadly this is an area where I do have some personal experience.

Curling up under a blanket with a good movie, the best junk food and a good friend next to you on the couch can always be helpful. It's helped me in the past, it helps Lorelai when she experiences a breakup with Luke in season five and when Rory finally realizes she needed to wallow, it helps her, too.

Getting over a breakup is hard, but if you take the right steps, you'll be back on your feet in no time.

So remember, you need to wallow.

Lauren

A Mother is a Daugther's Best Friend

Lorelai Gilmore is one of the greatest examples of a mother who exemplifies the notion a mother and daughter can be best friends.

When girls are young, they often idolize their mothers and imitate their every move. A daughter will crawl into her mom's high heels and smear her makeup all over her face. And as soon as a mom is out of sight, a daughter will cry out, "I want my mommy."

Well because of the shining example Lorelai Gilmore played in her daughter's life, Rory wasn't afraid to call out, "I want my mommy," even if she needed to say it on her first day in college.

Some wish they could be so lucky.

Often relationships between mothers and daughters are a huge struggle. Lorelai and Rory Gilmore couldn't be closer, but in a lot of relationships, mothers and daughters couldn't be farther apart.

As Dr. Laura Tracy described broken relationships in a Discovery Health article by saying, "They can't hear each other." Daughters feel controlled and misunderstood while mothers feel like their children are headed down the wrong path.

Of course, no mother and no daughter are going to see eye-to-eye on everything. There are always going to be differences, but the key is to prevent those differences from affecting your relationship, from affecting your friendship.

Even Lorelai Gilmore felt that way. She once gave advice to Mrs. Kim about her relationship with her daughter Lane in an episode saying: "Look, there are times when you have to put those differences aside. ... I know it's hard, but I don't want you to draw a line in the sand now that you can't cross later. My mother missed so much. I don't want that to happen to you."

I don't want that to happen to you either.

All relationships take work, and no one said that having a relationship with your mother or daughter is going to be easy. But take my advice. Actually, take Lorelai Gilmore's advice. Just love each other and respect each other for your differences.

Lauren

Coffee, coffee, coffee

"Please Luke. Please, please, please," Lorelai begged.
"How many cups have you had this morning?" Luke asked.
"None," she responded quickly.
"Plus?" he pressed.
"Five, but yours is better."
"You have a problem," he warned.
"Yes, I do."

I thought it was only appropriate to start this blog detailing life as we know it in relation to the Gilmore Girls with the opening dialogue from the very first episode, with something both Lorelai and Rory Gilmore are rarely seen without: a cup of coffee.

Whether they are at home in their kitchen, heading into Luke's Diner, talking with Sookie at the Independence and Dragonfly Inns or enjoying pie and rum balls at a Stars Hollow bakery, the Gilmore Girls can almost always seen drinking, pouring, making or asking for a cup of coffee.

If a situation like the scene described above occurs, Lorelai awards the giver of coffee with high praise. (In this case, she ended up calling Luke an angel taking the compliment as far as saying he had wings.)

And if the coffee tastes bad or is in too small of a cup, audiences are sure to hear about it. The infamous Gilmore Girls can never go without their morning caffeine fix.

"Coffee, coffee, coffee is a saying, like an exaggeration. It's a funny, desperate cry for caffeine. It's just my thing cause everybody knows I drink a lot of coffee, so the day can't start until I've had my morning jolt. It's a bit, my bit."

Lorelai says this quote during her conversation with a server in one of the town bakeries from an episode in season five, and it gives way to the extreme need Lorelai possesses for coffee and the reason why I titled this blog "coffee, coffee, coffee."

Of course Luke sees Lorelai's coffee addicition as a problem, but a morning caffeine jolt has become routine for so many people in today's world. And it may not be as much of a problem as Luke might think.

I've always loved the sound of a nice warm cup of coffee in the morning. It's too bad I don't like coffee. The smell of coffee is incredible, but the thought of drinking it is one way I'll never be able to relate to the Gilmore Girls. For many others, however, they have no problem putting themselves into Lorelai and Rory's coffee drinking scenarios.

According to E-Imports, about 150 million Americans, half of the United States population, drink coffee everyday. Plus, the average coffee drive-thru business sells 200-300 coffee beverages a day, they said. That's a lot of coffee.

And all that coffee can actually benefit our health. Diseases like colon cancer, diabetes and Parkinson's in addition to other conditions like asthma, mood disorders and headaches can all be prevented and managed by coffee, according to WebMD. Yes, coffee.

Of course downing six cups every morning like Lorelai Gilmore isn't the best idea; however, the caffeine in coffee does have its benefits.

So the next time you are debating whether to have another cup of coffee, think of the Gilmore Girls and the enjoyment they receive from daily doses of coffee. And don't feel guilty about following their example because your decision could actually be a smart one for your health.

Again I say, I wish I liked coffee.

Spilling the Beans,
Lauren